Colonoscopy is not a sociological study of ancient navigators who may have arrived in America before Christopher Columbus, nor is it a survey of the indigenous peoples who inhabited the New World at the time of the Admiral's arrival. Examination of the large intestine with a colonoscope is one of the most unpleasant experiences that a patient can be put through if, during a consultation for gastric problems, he or she complains of abdominal pain or irregular bowel movements. The mere mention of "further study" by the doctor leads to uneasiness and internal questions as to how deep he is going to go.
Those who have undergone this experience no longer boast with confidence "not a hair on a shrimp's head". Among other things, the flexible instruments - equipped with chamber, air insufflation device, light and almost a stenographer - are noticeably thicker. Doctors impose this unpleasant experience on anyone who, unfortunately, suffers from persistent diarrhoea. My grandmothers used to solve these problems with rice water and lemonade.
Imagine the situation: in a cold room (air conditioning and excess metal always make these rooms feel cold), you lie on your side, in a right-side position with your legs together and slightly bent, wearing only a gown that opens at the back. "Easy, relax," say the doctors and nurses, or doctor and assistants, in unison. With no time to mentally prepare yourself, you feel gloved fingers applying lubricant to one of the most intimate and difficult to expose areas, the only unpaired zero, like the eyes or ears, on the human body.
Almost without recovering from the initial touch... wham! A tube invades your rear and an exploration begins that is so uncomfortable and unbearable that only the comfort of being anaesthetised, in the arms of Morpheus, relieves your fear. Because then, the whole horrible experience is reduced to spending more than a week wondering why that toilet with feminine gestures accompanied you to the exit. You will live in torment forever, wondering what happened after the test was over and until you woke up. You will never forget the look on the nurse's face when he said to you at the door of the clinic: "Leave me your phone number, handsome, and I'll call you another day".
